I'm trying really hard to learn humility. For some reason, I think my opinion matters? For some reason, I think it's important, in conversations, to give my side. I work for an Italian man. He isn't the best communicator. He's fluent in 4 languages, I think, but his English and mine must not be the same?
Perhaps I was lucky enough to work for a few bosses that were able to lay out expectations clearly? Perhaps I was lucky enough to work for a few bosses that were willing to accept my feedback? Perhaps I was lucky enough to work for a few bosses that were willing to sit down and talk about the ambiguities of the job I was doing? Perhaps it's a cultural difference?
The other night, I was "called out" by my boss. I was in the middle of a conversation with a guest at the hostel, he interrupted us, and asked why I wasn't at the other building. I said I was on my way over there, but I was in the middle of a conversation. He was wrong. On about 3 different planes, he was wrong. He's my boss. I kept my mouth shut. Keeping my mouth shut ate at me for a LONG time.
My question is this: Where does humility begin and standing up for myself end? I don't like being pissed. I want to be a patient man. I want to be a humble man. I want to be an honest man. In my humble opinion, honesty means saying what I think.
I don't like to hold on to past conversations and think what coulda, woulda, shoulda been said. It's an awful feeling. The remedy to that is to say what I think, when I think it? Doing that usually blows patience and humility out of the water. Dealing with an Italian business owner, who is loud, aggressive, and pushy is an interesting experience. Hopefully, it will be a humbling one. Humbling is NOT the same as humiliating.
Balance. Patience. Humility. Peace.
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