DEPORT THIS!

Ok. Here's the story of my deportation threat.

I work illegally. I gather people for tours. It's a straight cash, under the table, no taxes, straight commission job. No Italians want to it. Mother-tongue English speakers are preferred. I just talk to people. I give them info about our tour, hope they sign up, and make money. I'm not supposed to be doing it. I'm "supposed" to have a work Visa. I am allowed 90 days in the EU before I get in trouble for being here. (The way around that is to go to a country that's not in the EU.)

It's NOTHING like the situation in America with Mexicans! Except for the EXACT opposite. I work for cash, do jobs citizens don't want to, send money back home, and try my best to avoid the authorities. I digress.

I usually have a pretty good idea when the cops are coming, so when they do, I take a seat. I sometimes put the flyers in my pocket and act like I'm looking at St. Peter's Basilica. No worries. Well, mid-sales pitch today a cop walks right up to me. I had a few options. I could: 

1. Run. 

2. Change my conversation mid-sentence and ask them if they know where "When In Rome Tours" is meeting, I can't find my tour guide?

3. Just keep going and take the ticket.

I opted to stand there and take it. He asked for my passport. I gave him a photocopy. Who carries their passport all day everyday? If you're smart, you don't risk losing it. He took me across the piazza. I looked around for some of my fellow gatherers to tell them to tell my boss what was happening. Immediately to my left was my boss walking with another of our gatherers. They got her too. On her birthday. Ooops. 

They sat in their little mobile station and talked for a while. They called me in (felt eerily like going into the principals office). They said if they see me again, they'll cuff me, put me in a 24-48 hour holding cell and start the deportation process. 

Here's what I really think. They were trying to scare me. I didn't even get a ticket! Let me say this, however. They scared the piss out of me!! I tried to play it off, but, yeah, I cried down my leg a little bit. I don't really think they will deport me. For a number of reasons, one of which is the simple fact that Italians are too damn lazy to fill out that paper work. Another is the fact that deporting an American, thus ending my ability to enter the EU for 8 years, for gathering for tours would probably draw some international raised eyebrows. 

All that aside, I decided to take the rest of the week off. I was having a good day today, too! I already had 6 people on a tour! In case you're wondering, that's 60 euros, tax free commission. Not a bad gig. 

I'm learning some interesting lessons. One of which is that I think I now support amnesty for Mexicans. Let's make them pay a fine, register to become citizens, put them on a probationary timeline to register and obey the law. Then, all the money they make can be taxed to go to pay for Obama's $1.5 trillion health care plan which is part of the problem "they" created by overusing our medical system without paying. Seems like a good idea to me? Let me also say, I love Mexicans! They are hard-working and good people.

Another thing I'm learning is that people are people. From every single inhabited place on this planet, people are people. There are great people out there. There are ass holes out there. There are people that I will never understand why they were created. There are people that make me grateful they were. I'm glad I'm not the Judge. I'm glad I'm not God. I'm glad He asks me try to love my fellow humans and understands when I fail. And I'm glad He has mercy on me when I fail.